A Brief Comment on Marriage

I just finished rereading Louis L’Amour’s To the Far Blue Mountains, and I found this beautiful little comment on marriage: “It [marriage] is the ultimate test of maturity, and many find excuses for avoiding it because they are not up to the challenge, or capable of carrying on a mature relationship.” L’Amour’s comment on marriage is great. In a day in which marriage is viewed as antiquated and ridiculed and despised, it’s nice to be reminded that marriage is such a significant affair. All sins against the sixth commandment are easy and petty affairs, but marriage is truly the challenging and glorious thing. It, not countless petty relationships or notches on one’s belt, is the test of maturity. He, who marries and loves his wife as he has been given to do in the vocation of husband, shows himself to be truly mature.

A Prayer for the Increase of Gentleness from Gerhard

PRAYER FOR THE GIFT AND INCREASE OF GENTLENESS

O KINDEST L ORD , with great love for humanity, You invite us to repent and with long- suffering patience You await our conversion (Romans 2:4). Give me the riches of long- suffering patience and gentleness. When my neighbor does me the slightest harm, the fire of anger seethes in my heart. With humble sighs, I ask You by Your Spirit to put to death this habit of my flesh. What harsh reviling, harsher scourging, and harshest murdering Your beloved Son bore for my sake. When He was attacked by the reviler, He did not return the reviling (Luke 23:39). Instead, He committed everything to the one who justly judges all things (2 Peter 2:23). What arrogance it is, what obstinacy, that I, wretched and mortal, of the ashes and dust of the earth (Genesis 18:27), cannot bear the slightest harsh word or overcome the offense of my neighbor with a gentle heart.

“Learn, learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,” You cry out, O most excellent Christ. With humble sighs, I implore You to take me into that practical school of the Spirit so I may learn gentleness. How I offend You, kindest Father, with many serious sins. I need daily forgiveness for them. Therefore, because I am a human creature, why should I harbor anger against another person, then dare to demand pardon from You, Lord of heaven and earth (Sirach 28:3)? Would it not be foolish to be unmerciful to a person who is like myself, then to ask forgiveness of my sins from You, Lord? I cannot hope for the forgiveness of my own sins if I cannot forgive my neighbor’s petty faults (Matthew 18:35).

O kindest Lord, great in mercy and long- suffering patience, give me the Spirit of patience and gentleness so I do not immediately become angry when my neighbor offends me. Instead, help me flee from that anger as from an enemy of the soul. If I carelessly become angry, help me to lay aside that anger quickly. May the brightness of the sun not set on my anger (Ephesians 4:26) so it will not depart as a witness to my rage. May sleep never fall on me when I am wrathful so sleep will not wrathfully hand me over to its sister, death.

If I want to retaliate against an enemy, why do I not turn against my own anger? Surely it is my greatest and most harmful enemy because it kills the soul and makes me liable to eternal death. Give me control of my mouth and wisdom in governing the actions of my life so I will not offend my neighbor by word or deed. Grant that I, through good deeds, may be a fragrant rose to my neighbor, not a piercing thorn of offenses and slanderings. O good Jesus, grant that I walk in the footsteps of Your gentleness and love my neighbor with a sincere heart.

AMEN.

A Prayer for Patience From Gerhard

VI PRAYER FOR THE GIFT AND INCREASE OF PATIENCE

O OMNIPOTENT, ETERNAL, AND MERCIFUL G OD , with humble sighs I implore You because of Your grace to grant me true and sincere patience. My flesh always desires what it wants, that is, what is easy and fleshly, but it refuses to suffer misfortune patiently. I ask You to restrain powerfully in me this inclination of the flesh and to prop up my weakness with the strength of patience. O Christ Jesus, teacher of patience and obedience, instruct me by the Holy Spirit so I may learn from You to deny my own will and to bear patiently the cross placed on me (Matthew 11:29). You suffered more painfully for me than I suffer under anything that You place on me. I have merited harder punishment than the punishment that You inflict. You bore a thorny crown and the weight of the cross. You sweat blood and trod the winepress of wrath because of me (Isaiah 63:3). Why then should I refuse to take up patiently such a small measure of suffering and affliction? Why should I shirk from being conformed to Your suffering in this life (1 Corinthians 15:49; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Philippians 3:21; Hebrews 13:13; 1 John 3:2)? You drank from the torrent of suffering in life (Psalm 110:7). Why should I refuse a meager sip from the cup of the cross? I have merited eternal punishment because of my sins. Why should I not suffer fatherly reproof in this world (Deuteronomy 8:5; Hebrews 12:7)? Those whom You knew from all eternity, before the foundations of the world were laid, You also predestined to be conformed to the image of Your Son in this life (Romans 8:29). So if I do not patiently bear this conformation to the cross, I despise Your holy and eternal plan for my salvation. Grant that this be far from me, Your most unworthy servant. It is to prove, not to punish, that You exercise me with various trials. When you place the cross and tribulation on me, You also grant me an equal amount of understanding and comfort. And the punishment never exceeds the reward. The sufferings of this life are not worthy of comparison to that heavenly consolation, which You grant already in this life, and to that heavenly glory, which You promise for the future (Romans 8:18). I know You are with me in tribulation (Psalm 91:15). I should rejoice over the presence of Your grace instead of being saddened over the burden of the cross placed on me. Lead me on whatever path You desire, O best Master and Teacher. I will follow You through thorns and briars, but draw me along and sustain me. I bow my head so You may place on it a crown of thorns. In doing this, I am absolutely convicted that one day You will place on it an eternal crown of glory.

AMEN.

From Meditations on Divine Mercy

Gerhard on Prayer

Gerhard has some beautiful and assuring things to say about prayer. In his Exercitium Pietatis Quotidianum, which has been retitled Meditations on Divine Mercy by CPH, he provides four “immovable truths on which our confidence to pray” may rest:

1. God’s omnipotent kindness
2. God’s unfailing truthfulness
3. Christ’s intercession as our mediator
4. the Holy Spirit’s testimony

In the midst of suffering, confidence in God’s loving mercy and constant attention to our prayers naturally falters. One’s mind flits from thoughts about God permitting suffering to the thought that he might not hear and care about our prayers, especially our prayers to alleviate suffering. Trite jingoistic sayings about prayer are little help to combat these doubts, but Gerhard’s thoughts are immensely helpful for combating doubt. Surely, if God has given his Son for us and if he promises that he will surely listen to our prayers, then we can trust this demonstration of his omnipotent goodness and his promise to us regarding prayer. Moreover, we know that the very Son who was given and gave Himself for us, intercedes for us as our mediator, and the Holy Spirit Himself perfects our prayers and offers up prayers for us. In light of these assurances, we can surely trust that God listens to our prayers and cares about them.